All the things

So as I try and find something to do with my time, since I can clean house pretty quickly. (I mean it’s not clean, I could do it quickly, I’m just lazy. Honesty.) I find myself baking, and cooking.

I’m not terrible at either of those things. I just don’t always like to do them. I am a creature of habit. And even after 8 years clean I still want what I want when I want it. Which is now. Gimme…Like I don’t want to do all the work involved and wait the 65min plus cooling time to eat banana bread. I want it now on a nice plate with some butter. But I have yet to obtain the magic to do that, so I made banana bread. I’m covered in flour because I am a very messy person when I cook. I need to shower.

Still waiting on obtaining the money for unemployment. I first filed on February 10th. Its the 2nd of March, come on New York state I have bills to pay and my bank account is not happy. I have also run out of health insurance at this time. So my medications are about to get stupid expensive. My depression medication is $50/month. And my anxiety medication is $100 for a 3 month supply. Its a controlled substance so getting it monthly is a pain in the ass. So I would rather pay out $100 now, then a little each month and fight to have them. Sometimes just having them can be calming.

Oh by the way, this is how my mind jumps. All the time. It is hard for me to stay on topic unless I am in direct conversation with someone, and even then it can be a challenge. My thought process is a freight train that does not like to wait for anything. Its a blessing and a curse…mostly a curse.

I am now tired. I have done nothing but a load of laundry and vacuumed. Oh and banana bread. The banana bread is what did it. Who knew banana bread could be so exhausting. Tomorrow I plan to bake some regular bread. My sister gave me a great recipe to make it without a bread machine. Hopefully this time, I do not burn myself or brake a glass dish. Ceramic dishes SHATTER when they are 400 degrees and you drop them. The skin on your hands is also not happy after touching it either. I can not cook without obtaining some kind of injury. I will likely burn myself when I get the bread out of the oven.

How I have lived this long and not lost a limb is a miracle. I think I will make some tea and finish the laundry. Maybe….

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